


Old Wounds

by Hunhamburger



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming of Age, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hunhamburger/pseuds/Hunhamburger
Summary: When Baekhyun and Chanyeol were children, they built a treehouse in Baekhyun's backyard. They ended up dating through highschool, but years later they eventually broke up. It's now 5 years since their break-up and Baekhyun finds himself at his old home looking up at the makeshift tree-house and falling in love with a memory and a man he once knew better than he knew himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from: baekyeolprompts.tumblr.com

Baekhyun hadn’t thought about Park Chanyeol in years. Yet here he was at age 25, sitting on the rickety floorboards of the treehouse Chanyeol and he had built with his father when they were 10 years old. 

His job fired him just hours earlier, and the final paperwork for his divorce was due in a day’s time. The house he had been staying at was his ex-wives, and in the meantime he slept out in his SUV with a thin fleece blanket and his leather satchel for a pillow. Before he knew where he was headed, he ended up here, at his parents house. The painful nostalgia hit him as soon as he stood in front of the door, and he climbed the ladder of the treehouse before even greeting his family. 

Chanyeol was as essential as air to Baekhyun back then. He had been his best friend, his partner in crime, and eventually he had become his lover. But it had been years now since they last saw each other. During that time they moved onto new loves, along with new lives. 

But Chanyeol’s fumbling hands and toothy smile had always remained in the back of Baekhyun’s mind. 

Baekhyun leaned his back against the cardboard box behind him. The box in which he stored all of his old memories with Chanyeol. He wanted desperately to open it. They broke up years ago, but Baekhyun was still scared of reopening the wound. 

He sat there for what felt like an eternity before mustering up enough courage to peel back the tape on the box. The first thing he found inside was a picture frame containing a photo of a teenage Baekhyun and a teenage Chanyeol both smiling gleefully. That was taken about two years before they started dating. Before the fighting started, Baekhyun thought grimly.

-

10 yrs old.

Baekhyun nearly fell over when a bumbling Chanyeol threw himself at him. 

“What’s up?” Baekhyun asked, holding Chanyeol back by his shoulders. 

“Your dad! He was just talking to my dad about helping us build a treehouse!” 

Baekhyun’s mouth stretched into a grin, “For real!? That’s awesome.” 

It took several days, mostly because Chanyeol and Baekhyun were too busy fooling around to actually help Baekhyun’s dad. But it was amazing once it was finished. Maybe it was a little shabby, but to young Baekhyun and Chanyeol it was everything: a pirate ship, a castle, a space station, their secret kingdom that only they knew about. 

 

-

At age 14, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were lying on Chanyeol’s bedroom floor finishing up their math homework when Baekhyun accidentally found suggestive magazines tucked underneath his friend’s bed.

“What have we here? Is my dear Chanyeol a pervert?” Baekhyun reached his hand under the bed to grasp at a the flimsy material. 

Chanyeol looked up from his textbook, his eyes wide, “Don’t touch that!” He pounced on Baekhyun, trying to grab his hand before he could snatch the magazines. 

“Everyone has them, no need to freak out” Baekhyun laughed, trying harder to extend his reach, “I wonder what kinds of babes Chanyeol’s interested in, hm? I bet it’s the huge chested type” His fingers finally grasped onto one of the magazines, and Baekhyun pulled it out. 

“Baekhyun, please-”

“Woah.” Rather than a busty woman on the front of the magazine, there was a thin, stark-naked man. 

“No!” Chanyeol ripped the magazine away Baekhyun and threw it across the room. “Dear God, why?” He hid his red face in his hands.

Baekhyun blinked at him, “You like guys?” 

“Please don’t hate me,” Chanyeol’s body was trembling.

Baekhyun rubbed circles into Chanyeol’s back, “How could I ever hate you, Yeol?” 

Chanyeol’s back shook as he sobbed, “I’m disgusting” 

“Why would liking guys make you disgusting? I don’t think so.” Baekhyun hadn’t put that much thought into it before, but Chanyeol did seem to perk up more when they passed attractive males in the school hallways rather than females. 

“You don’t?” Chanyeol’s eyes were red and damp when he peeked out from between his fingers.

Baekhyun smiled, “Of course not. You’re my best friend, so if anyone has a problem with you liking guys or whatever, they’ll have to answer to me. I swear it.” Baekhyun stuck out his pinkie.

Chanyeol sniffled and grinned, his pinkie curved into Baekhyun’s. 

-

They were 16 when Baekhyun had his first heartbreak courtesy of Kim Taeyeon, their upperclassmen. 

Chanyeol ran through the rain bringing armfuls of junk food to their treehouse as soon as he heard the news. Baekhyun was hiding in the corner of the treehouse, wearing a sleep mask to hide his eyes that were red with tears. 

Chanyeol plopped down right beside him, holding out a spoonful of Baekhyun’s favourite chocolate pudding in front of his nose. 

Baekhyun opened his mouth and Chanyeol slipped the spoon through his lips. 

“How are you feeling?” Chanyeol pulled down Baekhyun’s eye mask. He frowned at the red rimming Baekhyun’s eyes.

“Like a freight train drove over my heart”

A large warm thumb rubbed at the tears forming in the corners of Baekhyun’s eyes. Heleaned his cheek into Chanyeol’s hand.

“I wish you were a girl,” Baekhyun said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I wish I had dated someone like you” 

Chanyeol smiled, “Me too” 

There was a second of silence between them. 

The stuttering sound of rain hitting the wooden roof panels was too loud in Baekhyun’s ears. Chanyeol was too close. When he looked Chanyeol over, it was almost as if he was looking at a stranger. His presence, of course, was all too familiar, but there seemed to be something new about him. Something stunning about the way his mess of hair seemed to glow under the lantern’s light, or perhaps it was the way his tongue swept anxiously over his pink and plump lower lip.   
But then he looked into those all too familiar brown eyes. This was the Chanyeol he had always known, and yet it wasn’t. 

Baekhyun wondered if thinking about kissing his best friend was a normal reaction after being dumped. 

Chanyeol started rubbing at his eyes. Wet spots stained his cuffs. 

“Yeol?” 

Chanyeol’s long arms wrapped themselves around Baekhyun’s thin shoulders, “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

-

Age 17.

They were leaning up against the cool metal of the inside of the open trunk of Chanyeol’s dad’s pickup truck, each with their fingers wrapped around a lukewarm beer, and bare toes wiggling in the moonlight. Baekhyun was wearing only an undershirt and rolled up dress pants, while Chanyeol wore an unbuttoned navy suit. The taller teen coughed and pounded his chest when he chugged his beer too fast.

“Well prom was a royal shit show” Baekhyun said before taking a swig. The acidity burned his throat.

“You asked two girls to go with you and didn't tell them about it, how did you think it was going to turn out?” Chanyeol said through wheezes. 

“Well pouring punch all over my four hundred dollar suit was a bit over the top”

Chanyeol laughed, “You deserved it” 

“Maybe I did” Baekhyun nodded thoughtfully, he leaned against Chanyeol. Warmth radiated where their bodies touched. 

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s eyes lingering on him as he swallowed down another swig. When he met his gaze, Chanyeol looked elsewhere. 

Baekhyun tossed his empty beer can to the side, it clattered against the metal of the truck, “How angry will your dad be when he realizes you snatched a six-pack and his new truck?” 

“Very” Chanyeol said while shaking the gel out of his hair. 

The still atmosphere began to weigh heavily on Baekhyun. His skin prickled as a chill breeze passed through them. Chanyeol placed his suit jacket around Baekhyun’s shoulders without a word. Baekhyun felt his heart throb. 

“Why didn’t you invite a date to prom?” Said Baekhyun

“The one I wanted to invite already had a date” 

“You could have had one of my dates instead” 

Baekhyun could feel the light shake of Chanyeol’s chest as he laughed. He looked up at Chanyeol who still wouldn’t meet his gaze. With a soft palm on his cheek, Baekhyun made Chanyeol face him. 

As their eyes met, Chanyeol’s cheeks became a shy pink colour. He gave a small smile. Baekhyun’s heart ached at the sight. 

For awhile they just stared at each other, each daring the other to move. 

Baekhyun wouldn’t remember who leaned in first, but he would never forget the taste of his best friend’s lips.

-

They were 18 when Baekhyun pulled Chanyeol into the alley behind their local burger joint and crashed their mouths together. Chanyeol had ordered a large fry and tortured Baekhyun with each lick of salt off his lips. 

His hands clutched at the thin fabric of Chanyeol’s dark t-shirt as he whispered filthy nothings in his ear. Chanyeol’s eyes seemed to search frantically around them, his worried expression a stark contrast to the arousal growing in his jeans. 

They didn’t know what they were doing, the lust of youth quickly taking hold of them. Baekhyun had his hand down the front of Chanyeol’s jeans, working him harder and harder just to hear more of the gasps and pants that fell from the taller’s lips. He released too quickly with a whine into Baekhyun’s palm, apologizing repeatedly as he fell from his high. 

Baekhyun ached for more, but there was this timid embarrassment in Chanyeol’s expression that subdued his desire. Instead, he found himself laughing giddily at the mess on his hand and longing to wrap himself up in Chanyeol’s musky scent. 

They didn’t yet have a label, and underneath the sultry looks and salacious banter, Baekhyun was terrified of making the wrong move. 

-

Chanyeol was already in the treehouse before Baekhyun arrived home from cram school. He perked up as Baekhyun appeared from the hatch. 

“What are you doing here this late?” Asked Baekhyun. 

“Wanted to see you” Chanyeol said, his voice muffled into his sleeve. 

“Needy, huh?” Baekhyun said with a teasing smile. Chanyeol didn’t laugh. 

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun said, his tone more serious. He crouched in front of Chanyeol, placing his hands on his knees. Chanyeol couldn’t look at him, but didn’t shy away when Baekhyun trailed his fingers across his cheek. 

“I don’t want this anymore, Baek” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Whatever it is that we’ve been doing, I’m sick of it” 

Baekhyun was searching Chanyeol’s face, trying to catch his eye,looking for anything that would give him a hint to Chanyeol’s true motive. “What are you trying to say?” His heart was racing and loud in his ears. 

“We can’t keep fooling around, Baek, it may not mean anything to you, but I’m really hurting. I can touch you all I want, but I can’t really hold you and be certain that your mine” 

Baekhyun blinked, “Chanyeol do you mean…”

“I’m in love with you” Chanyeol was staring at Baekhyun with such intensity, such sadness, yet Baekhyun’s heart suddenly felt lighter than air. 

He pinned Chanyeol to the ground, kissing him everywhere he could reach; he powdered kisses over his nose, pecked across his cheeks, sucked softly by his ears. Chanyeol looked utterly bewildered when he pushed Baekhyun off of himself.

Lips crashed once again before Chanyeol could protest, and Baekhyun was pressing the words “I love you” into his lips over and over again. 

It was then that Chanyeol squeezed Baekhyun to his chest, sighing and sobbing and overjoyed . 

They made love for the first time to the sound of rain dancing along the roof. 

-

After one secret year of their relationship, they decided to come out to their families. 

Chanyeol’s mother cried when she found out, muttering something about lost grandchildren. 

Chanyeol’s father gave him a black eye. 

The treehouse became Chanyeol’s second home while his parent’s anger died down. 

Baekhyun brought him breakfast, lunch, and dinner, to the fort everyday. At nightfall they’d fall asleep in a makeshift fortress of blankets, cradled in each other’s arms.  
-

They spend their college years attending frat parties, where getting wasted was treated as a sport that lightweights always lost. They spent more time fucking in bathrooms than attending class. They were both enrolled in a musical theory program, dreaming of writing music together one day. 

They made many friends there. They’d play pranks on a scowling boy named Kyungsoo who would growl at them all day afterwards, but still hung around them, vaguely interested in their affairs. Jongdae would join in the fun when he didn’t have his nose in his textbooks. Sehun was an unwilling tag-along when Baekhyun and Chanyeol went bar-hopping. 

These friends would come and go, but Chanyeol and Baekhyun stayed together. The only two that could truly keep up with each other’s mischief.

-

When you’re together with someone for a long time, all the things that once seemed beautiful turn sour. What you had thought you loved about them, becomes the thing you most detest. Chanyeol’s affectionate nature became suffocating, his optimism became tiresome. 

Baekhyun felt himself growing exhausted around him. He had sealed his frustration within the deep overgrowth of his thoughts, and distanced himself. Chanyeol was persistent, urging Baekhyun to just talk to me, please, Baek. The more Baekhyun withdrew, the more Chanyeol clung to him. A vicious cycle of push and pull. 

They started fighting: sometimes, frequently, then relentlessly. Each time becoming more distressing than the last. They were at their breaking point, and neither of them were willing to bend. 

Chanyeol packed his things one Saturday afternoon. Told Baekhyun that he wasn’t giving him enough, wasn’t sharing enough with him, and he just couldn’t hold on to someone that wasn’t willing to invest anything in return. He told Baekhyun how he hated to leave, how he loved him so much, and how he always would no matter where they were in the world. 

Baekhyun couldn’t say anything, the sound of his heartbeat filling his ears. He finally opened his mouth, ready to pour out all of his thoughts, feelings, and actually try to work on the problems that had arisen. But Chanyeol had long left, the scent of his cologne was stale in the air. 

Baekhyun cried, he cried and cried and cried. His sobs echoing through empty rooms of the apartment, his tears stained every pillow that he clung too.

He wanted to call. He wanted to find Chanyeol. He wanted to apologize. But he was too late. All of the things he should have said months ago, were now useless. Crumbled notes that he wrote out over and over again wishing he had realized just how important Chanyeol was while it still had mattered. 

Chanyeol had begun to annoy him, yes. But he was also everything Baekhyun treasured, he had been Baekhyun’s warm “good morning”, a soft hug at the end of a long day, an uplifting smile when Baekhyun felt the world was out to get him. And Baekhyun had never truly told him his worth. 

It was as they say: to keep a relationship alive, communication was the most essential. 

And Baekhyun was the one that pulled away. Chanyeol deserved more than he could give. 

-

And here he was, a recent divorcee from a wife that he never could love wholeheartedly, looking through a box of photos of a man he used to love so long ago. His greatest regret was letting him go. 

He thought about running away, moving far off in the countryside where no one could bother him. He could work from home, write music maybe, and escape from the pain the real world always brought. 

Rain was pouring down, its pattering was loud and haunting, like the drumroll before the final act of a tragedy. Baekhyun held a photo of Chanyeol’s smiling face tight in his hands. 

Baekhyun thought about everything they had had together, and also where things went wrong. If he could go back in time, beg Chanyeol to give him another chance, then maybe his life now would be different. 

His eye’s closed and his head nodded forwards, the picture fell from his hands and shattered. 

A storm rattled the treehouse, thunder roared and lightning flashed. 

He hadn’t heard the treehouse hatch open, nor the footsteps that approached. 

“A shame the frame broke, that was a nice photo” a deep voice said, and Baekhyun’s eyes snapped open.

Beams of light flashed through the cracks in the flimsy wooden walls illuminating the tall man that looked over Baekhyun with a soft smile. Then he disappeared as the darkness swallowed him again, as if Chanyeol were a desert mirage formed by Baekhyun’s parched mind.

The treehouse was alight again for a heartbeat, exposing them to one another. Baekhyun shivered, the cold from the storm finally penetrating his skin, chilling him to the core.

He had been hoping for this day for a long time. There were so many questions, things left unsaid, apologies to be made. A million things that he wanted to tell him: you’re looking well, I saw your mom at the supermarket last month, I missed you, I still love you…

“Why?” Baekhyun’s voice cracked. His eyebrows bunched together and his eyes sought answers within Chanyeol’s dark pupils.

“I needed closure”

Baekhyun licked over his lips. That grave twinge of guilt that always lingered in the recesses of his mind came rushing over him, raking through his insides, willing him to tell Chanyeol what he had been wanting to say all these years. Chanyeol stared at him, his eyes sharp and ignited with each flash of light.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, ‘I’ve always loved you,’ hung on the very tip of his tongue.

There was a tender look in Chanyeol’s eyes, as though he knew the words Baekhyun held back. He moved closer and tugged on the chain connected to the light bulb that dangled from the ceiling, bathing them in somber yellow light. Chanyeol was tugging on the buttons on his pea coat. The thin dark threads looked ready to burst, Baekhyun could empathize.

“You were my first crush you know”

Baekhyun’s heart jumped in his chest, his lips parted wordlessly.

“I never did tell you that, did I?” Said Chanyeol, “I loved you since I knew the meaning of the word”

Tears stung at the corners of Baekhyun’s eyes, threatening to spill. His fingers pulled at the hair at the back of his neck.

Chanyeol raised his head to the ceiling where small droplets of rain were falling one by one onto his face, “That was a long time ago though”

Baekhyun knew their story would never have a happy ending, he knew it, and yet when he saw Chanyeol there in front of him he couldn’t have help wishing for his own fairy tale.

“I ruined everything” Baekhyun said around the lump in his throat. Chanyeol’s eyes fell on him once again.

“You did” he said, his upper lip twitched nearly forming a cruel smile. Light caught on a small object he pulled from his pocket. For a moment, the reflection had hit Baekhyun’s eyes. Blinding him for a moment. Chanyeol weaved the object around his fingers; the beam of light danced over the walls like shooting stars racing through the night sky. The light’s movement halted when Chanyeol’s fourth finger seemed to slip through it. A wedding band.

There was a lull. His heartbeat stopped thudding in his chest. The fingers tugging at the roots of his hair stilled, frozen just above his nape. The crashing thunder and roaring wind became white noise buzzing and whistling in the background. His body felt heavy. Numb.

“Congratulations” Baekhyun said, but the voice was not his own. His mind was back in the day where Chanyeol left. Frozen in place, speechless, and pale, with only himself to blame. Chanyeol poured his heart out that day, and Baekhyun said nothing. He let him go. He let him go and never tried to fight for him. He did nothing. He waited and waited and cried and cried and wallowed alone in his despair not once trying to win Chanyeol back. He deserved this, this sick humiliation. He was divorced because he never loved the woman he married. He was alone because he never stopped loving the one man that he failed to appreciate.

Chanyeol dropped to lean on a knee in front of him. His eyes, passionate and sad, looked deep within Baekhyun, tearing him apart.

“I loved you, Baekhyun” he said.

A hand rested on Baekhyun’s knee. The heat spread through his body, melting away the numbness into grief. Wind shook the treehouse and rattled Baekhyun’s bones. His lips fell apart, and his screams were drowned out by the booming thunder. Tears ran hot down his cheeks, mucus filling his sinuses. He was clinging to Chanyeol’s coat, falling into him like he should have done all those years ago. He held him with all the strength he had left, leaving patches of tears along his shoulder.

“I still love you” he cried out, and nothing but those words seemed real in that moment.

When his sobs turned to hiccups and his voice grew raw, he looked up at Chanyeol who was holding him just as tightly. Chanyeol’s eyes were puffy and wet. His breathing coming out ragged through his mouth.

“This is so unfair” Chanyeol said, his voice was hoarse and made Baekhyun feel a tingle in his toes. Baekhyun watched his squeeze his eyes shut in anguish and wrinkles appear on his brow line.

“I came here hoping to move on”

“Me too” said Baekhyun.

Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun away suddenly. He ripped the ring off his finger and threw it. It hit the wooden floorboards before bouncing and rolling right through a crack in the wood. “I couldn’t bring myself to answer Wu Fan. He asked me to marry him and I froze.” He glared at Baekhyun, “I care for him. I really, really do. But you, you ruin everything”

“I-”

“I lost my second chance at love because of you”

“Chanyeol-”

“I never stopped loving you. Just like I told you all those years ago. I’ve always loved you”

All of the air left Baekhyun’s lungs. He was on Chanyeol in an instant, knocking him over, inhaling the scent of cologne and sweat and Chanyeol. He breathed out ‘I’m sorry’ as his lips pressed into Chanyeol’s forehead. A hand pressed against Baekhyun’s chest.

“I can’t take being hurt again”

He looked Chanyeol in the eye and said what he should have said all those years ago, “I love you Chanyeol and I always will. I swear it” Baekhyun extended his pinkie

Chanyeol smiled, tears still trailing down his face, and curved his pinkie into Baekhyun’s.


End file.
